All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
