I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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