just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
