How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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