Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
