If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
