Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
