So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize