So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
