Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
