Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
