You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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