Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
