i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
