she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
