I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
