how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
