Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
