he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize