Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
