Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
