He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
