Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I smell stomach acid.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
