in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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