Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Say something about gay babies.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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