Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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