Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
