i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize