i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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