All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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