he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
