I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
