I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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