oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
