....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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