I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Swine flu. Run for my life!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
