Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
