Nicole vs. Life
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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