Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
