i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
