carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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