We won't sleep together?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
