Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
