i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i've created a new STD.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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