Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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