guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
