butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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