omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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