It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
