Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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