Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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