Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
