Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
