He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
