I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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