I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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