I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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