I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
