I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can't turn off my feet"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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