John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
