i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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