You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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