it wasn't lemon gatorade
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize