Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
