What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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