Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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