He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
