he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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