If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
